This week wraps up the Stanley Cup Playoffs in Vancouver (hopefully the Canucks bring it home) and with it the end of the 2011 NHL season. As a result there will suddenly be a lot of people suffering from Canucks hockey withdrawal.
Here are the Top Ten symptoms
1. Headaches from the confusion of no longer wearing a Canuck’s jersey every day and suddenly having to decide what to wear in the morning.
2. Laryngitis as throats hoarse from screaming and yelling finally gave up and now the whole city is whispering.
3. Bleeding ears with nicks and cuts as barbers/stylists hurry to clear the backlog of people getting haircuts, as no longer will throwing on a Canucks cap suffice for a night out.
4. Sunburned faces as playoff beards are shaved revealing pasty white cheeks and chins that haven’t seen the sun in 9 months.
5. Backaches from sitting on a fuller wallet from saving money on fuel, since cars no longer have Canuck window flag drag they are more fuel efficient.
6. Livers and kidneys unable to adapt to no longer needing to process a constant stream of beer being poured into them.
7. Bladder/Bowel irregularity, since washroom trips are no longer dictated by intermissions between periods.
8. Couples therapy as hockey widows/widowers suddenly have to adjust to having a partner back in their lives.
9. Confusion ensues as people realize that the Hockey Night In Canada theme is not the ‘summer anthem’ of 2011
10. Stress as it sets in that there is no Canucks hockey until October.